Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
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