You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
