Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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