Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Randomize
