I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
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