you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Randomize
