I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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