i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
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