After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
