Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
