Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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