Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Randomize
