i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
