I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
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