I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Randomize
