WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I'm too high and old for this...
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize