just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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