I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
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