Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
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