If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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