Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Randomize
