That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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