Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
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