I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
