I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Randomize
