how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
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Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
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At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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