Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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