i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
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