Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
