She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
just tell him i said nine months
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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