there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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