Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Randomize