My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Are my feet made of real feet?
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Randomize
