Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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