Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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