My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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