Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Randomize
