when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize