ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I'm at about main and main street
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
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