She's JV to your varsity
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
