Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
