Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
