Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
