Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
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