I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
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hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
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Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina