You made me cry and you don't even care
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection