Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
