it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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