Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Randomize
