We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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