Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
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