if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
