Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Pants are for mortals
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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