I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize