Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Randomize
