I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize