so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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