theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
